Saying Thank you matters. Manners help to build more effective relationships.
Saying thank you goes a long way. By acknowledging efforts, help and opportunities of others, you create a positive impact. Manners matter. It’s free, it’s easy to do. It takes mere moments. The rewards are enormous for you and those around you.
“Thank you” is essential because we are primates, and primates are inherently social creatures. When goods or services are exchanged, and the currency is not involved, then our words and expressions must become the currency. “Please” is the socially acceptable word that signals a request for some transaction to take place. “Thank you” is payment for services provided. “You’re welcome” is a sales receipt. These exchanges are vital to our societal structure. At first glance, it may seem like a waste of time, but it’s an essential element to how we connect and bond with each other. Those two little words hold a tremendous value that most of the time we take for granted.
You build an appreciative attitude as opposed to an expectant approach.
Having an appreciative attitude means that you are grateful for the kindness people have shown you. However, having an expectant attitude means you expect that people will treat you with kindness. The former liberates you from hoping that someone will treat you with respect. This allows you to evaluate your relationships based on how people are treating you. While there are such exceptions to having high expectations such as in teaching or entrepreneurial professions, expecting that people will treat you a certain way will lead to grave disappointment when they don’t measure up to your expectations.
When you adopt a grateful attitude, you embrace a practical outlook on life-based on recognising kindness.
Saying ‘Thank you’ allows you to spread positivity.
Rather than getting upset and complaining about a situation, find something to be thankful for. According to researchers, people complain, on average, about 30 times a day. While it is relieving, therapeutic even, to be able to vent your frustrations to a close confidant, complaining for a longer amount of time can do just the opposite. Research shows that repeated complaining makes future complaining sessions more likely.
A study from Stanford University has found that complaining shrinks the hippocampus–an area of the brain that’s critical to problem-solving and intelligent thought. Damage to the hippocampus is especially troublesome as it is one of the primary brain areas destroyed by Alzheimer’s. In addition to potential brain damage, complaining causes your body to release the stress hormone cortisol–shifting you into fight-or-flight mode. However, cultivating an attitude of gratitude allows you to shift your attention from complaining to being thankful for something. As a result, being grateful will help reduce the release of cortisol by 23 per cent.
Saying ‘Thank you‘ inherently acknowledges that you did not accomplish your goals and dreams alone. Instead, you needed help from many different people with varying levels of intimacy in your life.
To say “thank you” is to appreciate the individual for choosing to take action vs. being told to take action.
As with all creatures, humans are programmed to seek freedom; the freedom of choice most powerful of all. Over hundreds of years and most likely heightened in the Industrial era boom, we’ve moved away from the individual model of society (where people primarily worked for themselves) to the institutional model where large organizations dictate our work (and personal) lives. In essence, when you say “thank you” you are thanking the individual for making a choice to take on a task or activity. Contrarily, when you don’t say thank you to someone for a completed task, they feel like they had no choice in the matter. Which leads to appreciation…
Making others feel good brings good in other unpredictable ways.
By making someone else feel important and appreciated, you’ve brightened up someone’s day in the smallest of ways and that person is more likely to pass on that feeling to someone else. If they feel dejected and under-appreciated, they tend to take it out on those close to them (spouse, kids, friends, etc). The act of saying thank you is also powerful in that it makes people more willing to do something for you again in the future.
In the workplace, saying thank you and being acknowledged is often forgotten. Work effort can be assumed because ‘ people are paid to do their jobs.’ While both a true – human connection is a key element to engaging, retention and productivity. Saying thank you and acknowledging others, build relationships and goodwill. It is goodwill, that will help you in the future, when you require help, unexpectedly.
Increasing the frequency of saying thank you – is not hard. A genuine thank you, takes moments. And after all, good manners, matter.
20 ways to say thank you.
Here are some to get you started. Alter these by adding specific examples to these statements as to what specifically you are thankful for.
- Thank you for taking the time to provide me with feedback
- Thank you for coaching me how to..
- Thank you for investing in my professional development
- Thank you for helping me with this project. It has…
- Thanks again for meeting with me today.
- Thank you for taking the time to explain this. Your explanation means…
- Thank you for leading by example.
- I enjoy being a part of your team. When you….. Thank you.
- Thank you for being such an inspiration to me and others around you.
- Thank you for entrusting me with this project.
- I appreciate your dedication to …. And …..
- Thank you for sharing your honest feedback about the project.
- We are grateful for your dedication to the team and company.
- Thank you for making this such a great place to work every day!
- Thank you for having confidence in my abilities.
- I appreciate your flexibility and willingness to work with me on this.
- Thank you for the opportunity to work here. I will do my best to exceed your expectations of my abilities.
- Thank you for your email, it was appreciated.
- Thanks for your attention to the matter of…
- Thank you for sharing your advice. I value your honesty and will respond as quickly as possible.
- Thank you for always going above and beyond to ensure the success of a project.
- I appreciate your hard work and want you to know it doesn’t go unnoticed.
- I appreciate what you did.
- Thank you for thinking of me.
- Thank you for your time today.
- I value and respect your opinion.
- I am so thankful for what you did.
- I wanted to take the time to thank you.
- I really appreciate your help. Thank you.
- Your kind words warmed my heart.
- I want to say thanks for helping me with my project.
- It was so lovely to hear from you. Thank you for reaching out.
- Thanks a lot for your help – I couldn’t have done it without you!
- I appreciate your help.
- I am grateful for your help.
- I am so very grateful for your time.
- Thank you for such an excellent contribution.
- Thank you for taking the time.
- Thank you for taking the trouble to help me.
- Thank you so much for your help. Please let me know how I can return the favour.
- Your help is greatly appreciated.
What ways can you thank those that you are close to, or work with?
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About the author: Colleen Condon
Colleen likes to keep things creative in all that she does, often using marshmallows as a source of inspiration.
Everyone knows that ongoing learning is essential for both personal and professional success and yet, for many, this means hours of attending dead boring training or completing’ losing the will to live’ eLearning modules. Colleen’s mission is to end tedious professional development while ensuring targeted outcomes for learners and businesses.
Colleen has honed her skills over the last 20 years across multiple industries and locations. Her previous role saw her overseeing the training and development needs of over 60, 000 employees across 13 countries in the APAC region. This enabled honing skills that celebrated diversity and understanding human commonality through learning, and that in the absence of a common language, flip charts and coloured markers can overcome most challenging situations.
After taking a ‘go away package’, in 2019, Colleen founded her own business, Facilitated Training, harnessing her global learning experiences and sharing them through ready to use learning resources, specialising in leadership, mentoring, guest speaking, creative problem solving, filling the gap of high quality, customisable training resources and tools.