Communicating with respect
Having something to say and listening are two things that need to go together. I like to talk and listen to people, I do enjoy it, and it makes my world a better place. I feel connected to the people I meet, and very often I learn something new, or a new way of looking at the world. Listening and understanding to what is said, asking questions so that you understand, is the point of talking, not just the talking itself. This is what makes a good work place leader.
By asking a question, it opens the opportunity to listen. This is often very necessary in the workplace, yet many work place leaders struggle with it. This could be listening to an experienced worker about how to complete a task or a safety issue that the team leader had no idea about because they are not doing the task. Failing to listen is failing to make the changes that will make your work space a tremendous and profitable place to be.
Do you have something to say or are you just making noise? If it is not a question, you are asking maybe you have lost your way? Some work place leaders are rude, arrogant, condescending and dangerous to work with. These are the “I told you so!”, “Because I said” “We always do it this way!” These are the table thumpers and worst of all the non-listeners, that damage the organisations they are in or worse the teams they work with.
There are other work place leaders confuse reiteration with communication and listening and say the same thing over and over again destroys the message, the product, or the service. So, if you are just making noise maybe you should stop and listen for a change?
How to deliver your questions.
Well first, remember the difference between an exclamation mark and a question mark. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” And “Can you please explain to me how this works?” while it may seem to be asking the same question, they do lead to different types of responses. So how you ask your questions is essential.
How to do you ask your questions?
Be clear, be concise.
Try and be kind, try and be humble and don’t try to be funny. Being clear and concise is important when exchanging information, particularly in a fast and loud environment but how you do that will affect how you message is received. Smiling and nodding gives the other person the visual clues to know you’re being respectful and listening. Otherwise, the person you are talking to can feel like you are just being aggressive and/or rude.
Being kind, humble and empathic in communicating with others, is all about you. It is important to check in with yourself about your intentions and feelings. If you are feeling frustrated or angry this will affect how you deliver your message, how your message is perceived and your ability to listen. By checking in with yourself it can help you become focused on what you need to do and so be able to listen more effectively. When we listen effectively, we can ask a better question and come to better solutions to problems more quickly.
Humour
Trying to be funny is also all about you but rarely in a positive way. Humour doesn’t translate well across languages and cultures and can easily be perceived as rudeness. It is important to remember that you are trying to listen and communicate with someone not to entertain them. If by trying to be funny, you confuse the person you are talking to you have failed to communicate.
So, which one are you?
• “The Funny”
• “The Shouty Angry”
• “The Kind and Helpful” work place leader will give you a useful guide on how productive your communications will end up being.
Why is it important to listen?
The end goal for any work place leader is to enable their team to get the tasks done as efficiently, safely and as profitable as possible. By listening we can guide, educate and communicate to achieve those goals. Trying to drive, control and dominate others is counterproductive and a waste of energy. If you find yourself doing this, check yourself before your wreck yourself.
Also, consider is that most of us like to think in narratives about others and ourselves. If you can try to imagine and understand the narrative that the person you are talking too has about themselves and their work place, the better you will be able to communicate with them. There is a lot of effort and listening that goes into understanding a person’s narrative. If you can understand the narrative, you can shape that to create more effective teams.
Are you ready to give it a try?
Let’s go through what to do.
• Be clear, be concise.
• Try and be kind, try and be humble, remember to smile and nod.
• Don’t be try to be funny, shout or bully people.
• Try and remember to check in with yourself so you are settled and calm.
• Consider who you are talking to, what they are feeling and thinking about so you can communicate with them more effectively.
Ready? Here is one of the best questions to start with…
“Hello, how are you going?”
About Cameron Russell
Cameron Russell has been self employed in the food industry for the last 25 years. He has run many and varied business from food tourism, mushroomtours.com, cafes, wholesale and retail fruit and vegetable supply business from the Queen Victoria Market to web design services and business consulting. He currently lives and works western Victoria with his partner, various children and 10 rag tag sheep.
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